Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I am pregnant!

Nov 6, 2005
Chennai, India

Yes...the frustration of the last two months are over and I am finally pregnant!! Its November 6, 2005, one day after my 24th b'day and I have received the best gift I could get..Both my husband and I didn't sleep the whole of previous night...I even woke up at 3 A.M and did a hurried pregnancy test, but nothing was obvious..some faint patches, but nothing conclusive. With a heavy heart, I slept again.
The lab technition took my urine sample and came back with two bold lines on a tiny strip. The only proof that I am pregnant. I wanted to save it, but by the time I realized that, the doctor had placed it safely in her dustbin and scrounging for it was not the ideal way to celebrate my pregnancy! But all celebrations were to be controlled till we get the baby in hand, as I had had some difficulty in conceiving and god and my doctor alone knows just how many hormones were pumped inside me, so, it was to be total rest, no traveling and good diet for the rest of the pregnancy. Not bad. Very achievable. So, I decided to stay back in Chennai..taking an unlimited loss of pay leave from my company and planning to have the best of my time with my parents.
I was to have a hormone injection twice a week, for the next 10 weeks. Things were fine till the 6th week. And then started the vomiting. It started out with once in the morning and everyone in the house were excited..I was finally getting some symptom of being pregnant and my mom was telling me that this was the time when women actually knew they were pregnant, only I had been to the doctor before because of my hormone issues. After the first injection, I started throwing up more often and very soon, it became every two hours. I would have just finished having something as light as an apple and there, it would all be on the floor. We tried all combinations of food and beverages, but I was throwing up without discrimination. Then it struck me that I was taking out whenever I was vertical and so, I moved to the horizontal, staying in bed atleast one hour after eating. Things became a bit better and I now had a bucket partly filled with dettol water near my bed. So, every time I felt like taking out, I would just tilt over and pour my self out into the bucket. This worked and I could even make it out of my bed for an evening juice. The day after the injection was the worst. I would start vomiting blood at the end of the day.
Amidst all this, I knew my baby was growing. Though there was nothing to show, I just knew it. I also knew that there was something special waiting for me, some surprise, something different that would come out the next scan. Each day was now a wait till the next scan.

That and more, the next post!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Before a mom

Nov,1981-Nov,2005
Cochin,Kerala-Chennai,Tamil Nadu, India

Mom...I have wanted to be a mom from when I saw a baby, that was when I was 10 years old. It was dream to have a cute little bundle, full of mischief, laughter and fun. I would run over to any neighbors place if they had a baby below 2 years. Carrying the kid around made me feel big. My chest would be puffed up with pride and I would comb his hair, dress her up with my clothes and donate my earrings, bangles and toys.
And then, I got married. Marriage was the best thing that ever happened to me. I married a guy I loved since my first day in college. We married five years later and would have spent a total of 30 days seeing each other during those five years! He was three years my senior and went to US one month after we declared our love for each other. After that it was the nightly phone calls..I would wait beside the phone, braving the biting cold and the long drawn conversation of another lovesick hostel mate to finally talk a few hours with him. We survived five years with nothing but the phone cable and wireless web between us and finally, after a long, frustrating wait, we tied the knot.
I wanted to do all the things I had been dreaming of those lonely years without him..jive, salsa classes, adventure trips, traveling far and wide, exploring places and restaurants and much much more. Kids were no where in the picture for me for a long time. But, as nature would have it, I faced a hormone problem and was asked by the gynecologist to conceive as early as possible. The fights that followed, the tears, the attempt to buy some more time all got me one year. I had one year of uninterrupted time with my husband. We made up for those five years in full and he satisfied my every wish even before I could express it.
And then, it was show time. I conceived with some difficulty. By then, I too wanted a baby badly, but nothing prepared us for what was about to come. The next one year, saw me being thoroughly traumatized, tested my patience to the core and showed how much strength I had during adversity. Being pregnant and being a new mom are experiences that most women share, but what I had to undergo would probably be one of a kind...the next post would have it all!!!