Its been a while and too many things to say

Its been some time since my last post and a few things have eclipsed everything else thats been happening the year round. A few days after my last post, I got severe cramps on the left side lower abdomen and slightly panicked, we ran to the hospital. The doc suspected a scar thinning and kept me under observation while mentally preparing us for an emergency C-section anytime that day. Luckily for me, by afternoon the pain was gone and so they concluded a cramp and not scar thinning and let us go free!! I've been a bit more careful about bending, lifting and sitting in odd positions after that!
Another very very important and psyching incident happened on Christmas day. Kaustubh had been suffering from fever the past one week and we took him to the doc early 25th morning. He asked us to keep giving crocin every time he has fever and wait for another 2 more days before starting antibiotics. Now, by 5 in evening his fever still hadn't subsided and we were due for another round of crocin by 7 in the night. Karthik was carrying him when his eyes suddenly rolled up, hands and legs started shaking and his head was rolling back and forth without any control. Karthik and I were screaming 'kautu' 'kautu' at the top of our voice as though the level of volume can somehow make the nightmare go away. The din woke up my sleeping mom and she came running out to catch us both shouting and patting the unconscious baby. While I called up the doc in panic, Karthik and mom ran with kautu to the car and sped away. Without taking a cell in hand. Later I found that kautu had gone blue in the face and his hands were stiff. My mom, in panic had done the right thing of giving him mouth to mouth resuscitation at the back seat while Karthik was driving, screaming and crying at the same time. Kachi was crying for him to be taken too and I was crying miserably for my child. He say be so broken down and stopped immediately. I took him and my Hanuman Chalisa book and sat by the pooja room crying and singing all at the same time. I was imagining Kautu's smile, his voice everywhere and praying with all my heart and waiting for the cell to ring. But when it did, my hands were shaking and it took some courage to lift the call. Karthik had been to the emergency of the nearest hospital and they had put him on oxygen mask and given an injection. Kautu was breathing normally, and was either asleep or unconscious, but the situation was not serious. Thats when my breathing turned normal and I rested my hanuman chalisa after half an hour of singing and crying. He had suffered from Febrile seizure which normally occurs due to increased body temperature. We transferred him to a bigger hospital that evening itself. My uncle came over and I went with him to the hospital. Karthik and I stayed back with him in the hospital that night, infact, he was there for a full two days. Some investigations, an EEG were all normal. An infection was found to be the cause of the fever and he was started on antibiotics for that. I too suffered from fever, chest congestion and sinus in the hospital and the ENT prescribed the same antibiotics for me too. All's well that ends well. We now need to be really careful anytime he gets fever till he is 3 years plus, cause once this convulsion happens, there is increased possibility of it happening again.

An experience we will all remember for a lifetime, talk about for a lifetime and with all this, how can we not but treat the kids as though they are the most precious things in the whole world? Now when I see both of them running around and playing, my mind automatically goes back to that incident and a small thank you is send heavenward for making it end up like this.

The debate settled unfavorably

On whether this delivery should be a ceasarian or normal. The repository online seems to suggest that it is possible to have a normal delivery if it is after 18 months of a previous c-section (called VBAC, Vaginal Birth After C-section), and that the risk of uterine rupture(the previous C-section scar tearing) is very small (around 8 in 1000). But, the doctor I consult is totally against VBAC, says there is a high possibility of uterine tear and she cites a case wherein she was operating on a patient and another patient with a uterine tear was waiting for an OT. None was available and an emergency c-section had to be performed in the minor OT. Cases like these, I am sure are not common, but, they do occur.
On one hand, I do believe what she says when she mentions how traumatic it is for the surgeon, an emergency operation and a risk to the mother and baby. On the other, is this worth forgoing a normal pregnancy and going in for a major operation without even giving it a trial, just because there is a .0something% risk of complications? Left to me, I would like to go the normal way, but the doc here is even refusing to consider it since my delivery is within 3 years of the previous one. What are the options left to me now? With an understanding doctor who would stand by me through the labour, closely monitoring signs of any complications, I could I believe go through a normal delivery. But I would go in for it only if I have complete belief that the doctor feels as strongly as me the need to have it all normal this time. For me, it is more of a challenge..after the severe complications of the previous delivery, it was my challenge to my self to have everything normal (though nothing is in my hands except my attitude...and my attitude was one of complete normalcy. When the last time I spent almost the entire day in bed, this time, I spent it in office, cooking, taking care of kachi and kautu and the house, when the last time I traveled just once a month for the check ups, this time I made 5 inter state trips two of which were road trips). Of course, if there is substantial risk of complications, I am not the one to shrug it aside and be stubborn about the normal delivery just to prove a point to my self, but then, if it is possible, I would have loved to have it my way.
As of now, it is kind of too late to search another Gynec, and I do not want to get into an argument with her when she might be the one ending up holding the knife over my stomach. So, the date is being fixed, and the players are getting prepared for an operation anytime after Jan 5. Hands crossed, everyone?

Edited to add: A question raised by gettingtherenow was what was the complications that brought on the first C-section. Actually, there was nothing other than that a bacterial infection caused the OS to open, after which I had an OS stitching done (this was in the 28th week). I was bedridden in the hospital for a month after which labour pains started (33rd week) and they performed the C-section cause the babies were breech. Considering all that, this time, its just a single, and so far, touch wood, I have had no problems, shouldn't it be possible to get it all normal? If so, we need to either convince the doc. or search another one. I shall keep you all informed!

Of the fire and more

Our office caught fire last week, the result of which was a week's vacation in Chennai and a complete 'work from home' for me till after maternity. I was planning on a Jan 1st deadline for work from home, but the big guys decided to save up office space and pack me off home a month earlier! So, now I am fulltime working, on the kids, the home, the food and ofcourse my code! The baby inside is acting up a bit these days...I get a pain at times in the lower abdomen and my back gives some problems once in a while, but overall, it has been a great pregnancy so far and I do hope it remains so throughout! Scary to think its just another one and a half months more to go and even more scarier to think that by this time (33 weeks), Kachi and Kautu were out into the world and lying in the NICU with drips and UV lights! My stomach was literally twice the size it is now and the discomfort, twice as less. Now I realise what it really means to have twins!!
I often think about how this would look..would it resemble Kachi/Kautu/Karthik or me...or as these guys are, become a mixture impossible to sort out! Would it drink milk and sleep peacefully or like them, make a fuss right from the word go? The baby is actually kicking more than either of the two ever did...so, does it increase the possibility of it being a girl? I hope to god it does! People say I am looking very pretty this pregnancy (I don't mind hearing that at all!! Afterall, the last one I barely left my mom's bedroom!) and so it must be a girl. Don't know what the logic is, but whatever it is, I hope it is true! I am now eager to see the twin's reaction to another baby. We have told them that there is a 'papa' in their mom's tummy and they kiss it goodnight and whenever they feel like it, but they also manage to stamp, hit, smash and throw toys at the tummy. So, I can take a good guess how they will possibly react to the next one..another toy? Something funny to explore? A crib is what we hope will solve the problem, but haven't got it as yet.
In spite of the hundred things running through my head daily, the sparkling of thoughts for the next one have started to come. I knew it would come as the date nears, and now, the anticipation of just how much our lifestyle is going to change and that of a new life is beginning to take precedence over whether these guys are eating and what mischief they are going to be up to next!!!!!