If you really had a choice, what would you prefer not to love? You could be in love with the climate no matter what it may be, in love with your husband and kids and house, in love with your job, your friends, food, movies, a walk, your thoughts, in fact, your very life. But if given the one thing that you would prefer not to love, what would it be?
Well, lets see, for me, it would be the constant need to justify everything I do. Its a habit picked up a few years back, and its not yet been rid of. I have to justify to myself, every minute thing I do. If I rest, if I am working too hard, if I am reading a book, if I am running a bit late to take them to school, if I am putting my legs up and letting karthik do the vessels for a change, ..just about anything. Really, its time I learnt to just give it up and be happy following my heart and doing just what I feel like doing (well, thats precisely what I am doing right now, what I need to stop is, the brain telling the rest of me that what my heart is doing is not what should be done by an ideal mom/wife/daughter and so on!)
So, I am gonna try getting the brain to shut down for a while and live in a heart felt stupor for a while!
Adieu...
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A trip to london, a car, a tv, the library, school and movies!!!!!
Yeah...thats about what we have been upto the past few weeks! Its been a whole lot of fun, getting new stuff and going to new places and putting the kids in school. But what I enjoyed the most was setting up the house! My daily activity would be searching gumtree for all the lovely second hand stuff we can get, and believe me, we got real great deals! We've been selling and reselling a lot of stuff and I am in love with some of the quaint furniture we have got! There is this lovely rattan set, chest of draws, corner table and bedside table which we got for a steal of 25 pounds, and it looks like new! We got another real antique looking pure wood chest of draws that I have converted into a dressing table, well, it does look a bit converted, but cute all the same. Sold off our old book rack and have put a few more items for sale, but no hits so far. Its so much more fun looking at the best deals, figuring out just how far is the person's place and whether the price and the item is worth all that travel and finally getting a good piece home. Its kindof addicting. I am having to drag myself out of gumtree and I thought writing a blog about it will give me a break from the 24x7 perusing of the site!
On other things, we did a trip to london a few weeks back, wanted to name the post.."London trip-part 1", cause thats exactly what it was! We went to my cousins place, had a blast with her family, she has a daughter my twins age and they all freaked out. All four in the tub, tumbling around, eating and spilling around the house and what not! And, we saw.....the london bridge. Thats about it! Took us around 4 hours finish our slow walk across the bridge and by then we were famished. Went to east ham, the Indian quarters of London and ate a full meals at Vasantha Bhawan, karthik was thrilled beyond words. So, I think there must be atleast parts 2 - 6 to finish up a bit of london.
Kids started school last week. They go to the afternoon batch, quite a lot of work for me! Getting them ready, fed and then walking for a good 15 minutes with them in the cold. It takes more than that if they decide to stop and watch the cars going, railway track, signals and other kids on bikes. We do somehow manage to make it in time. Karthik tried it a few days back and he did a hats off for me!! The challenge is in doing all this without blowing off the top. Maybe the kriya helps (meditation is making me a better mom!!). They love the school. Infact, kautu starts asking at around 11..."Amma, why are we not dressing up? We NEED to go to school". Ok, dears, I too am all in favor of you going, though the two hours you are there is hardly a break for me. It takes me another 15 min to walk with baby back, (she sits in her pushchair, thankfully). Then your dad comes home for lunch and by the time he leaves its time for me to started getting ready again to come n pick you up. So, tell me, who is having a better time, you or me? They have milk and a fruit at school and always have milk whiskers when I go to pick them up..looks sooo cute. They come running out and give a big kiss to baby and thrust their days activity paper at me. I then sit down to button up their coats which they have put on by themselves in class, and so its almost always either buttoned up wrong or not at all. Then we all start our long walk home. Only, the coming back takes longer due to either our library visit or the school stories.
And then there was the library membership. Ahhh.. I have been binging on books the past few weeks. Would finish up a book a day and they have such a huge collection (well, its free too, that counts!). We usually go there on the way back from school as said above and the kids sit on the engine in the kids section while I finish up my selections. Then we take a book for them and start back. Got caught in a blizzard last week (full with the snow and wind and all!). Luckily for us we had popped into the library, else would have landed up in no mans land during the blizzard, can't imagine what it would have been like with the kids stranded on the road.
Well, we finally bought a car two weeks back. So, I do drop them to school if its raining or snowing in the car, but I really prefer walking as parking is quite a pain, have to keep doing rounds to see if someone is taking the car out. Car is a boon, and the one we got is quite similar in controls to the one I used to drive in bangalore, so its quite a breeze (esp. the lovely roads and well behaved traffic.). If you can drive in any of the metros in India, you can pretty much drive any where else!
And the movies! Got a 40" tv and a blu ray player, so, its been a movie a day for the past few days..seen revolutionary road, volverine (or is it with a W?), curious case of benjamin button, kung fu panda, hangover (awsome!), knowing (terrible, bah) and more on the way. Kids sleep off at 7.30 these days, so we chill out after that.
Enough of my yak, yak? I'll get on with the snaps.
The leashes are not visible in this snap, but we had two leashes for both the boys which joined their hands with mine! Thats what saved our sanity that day.
Finally, a family snap.
In front of their school .. the first day.
By the river cam, on a sunny day
Feeding the ducks n swans, we all love this! Last week we finished up two entire loafs of bread. You should see how fast the ducks can swim when they want to catch that bit!
On other things, we did a trip to london a few weeks back, wanted to name the post.."London trip-part 1", cause thats exactly what it was! We went to my cousins place, had a blast with her family, she has a daughter my twins age and they all freaked out. All four in the tub, tumbling around, eating and spilling around the house and what not! And, we saw.....the london bridge. Thats about it! Took us around 4 hours finish our slow walk across the bridge and by then we were famished. Went to east ham, the Indian quarters of London and ate a full meals at Vasantha Bhawan, karthik was thrilled beyond words. So, I think there must be atleast parts 2 - 6 to finish up a bit of london.
Kids started school last week. They go to the afternoon batch, quite a lot of work for me! Getting them ready, fed and then walking for a good 15 minutes with them in the cold. It takes more than that if they decide to stop and watch the cars going, railway track, signals and other kids on bikes. We do somehow manage to make it in time. Karthik tried it a few days back and he did a hats off for me!! The challenge is in doing all this without blowing off the top. Maybe the kriya helps (meditation is making me a better mom!!). They love the school. Infact, kautu starts asking at around 11..."Amma, why are we not dressing up? We NEED to go to school". Ok, dears, I too am all in favor of you going, though the two hours you are there is hardly a break for me. It takes me another 15 min to walk with baby back, (she sits in her pushchair, thankfully). Then your dad comes home for lunch and by the time he leaves its time for me to started getting ready again to come n pick you up. So, tell me, who is having a better time, you or me? They have milk and a fruit at school and always have milk whiskers when I go to pick them up..looks sooo cute. They come running out and give a big kiss to baby and thrust their days activity paper at me. I then sit down to button up their coats which they have put on by themselves in class, and so its almost always either buttoned up wrong or not at all. Then we all start our long walk home. Only, the coming back takes longer due to either our library visit or the school stories.
And then there was the library membership. Ahhh.. I have been binging on books the past few weeks. Would finish up a book a day and they have such a huge collection (well, its free too, that counts!). We usually go there on the way back from school as said above and the kids sit on the engine in the kids section while I finish up my selections. Then we take a book for them and start back. Got caught in a blizzard last week (full with the snow and wind and all!). Luckily for us we had popped into the library, else would have landed up in no mans land during the blizzard, can't imagine what it would have been like with the kids stranded on the road.
Well, we finally bought a car two weeks back. So, I do drop them to school if its raining or snowing in the car, but I really prefer walking as parking is quite a pain, have to keep doing rounds to see if someone is taking the car out. Car is a boon, and the one we got is quite similar in controls to the one I used to drive in bangalore, so its quite a breeze (esp. the lovely roads and well behaved traffic.). If you can drive in any of the metros in India, you can pretty much drive any where else!
And the movies! Got a 40" tv and a blu ray player, so, its been a movie a day for the past few days..seen revolutionary road, volverine (or is it with a W?), curious case of benjamin button, kung fu panda, hangover (awsome!), knowing (terrible, bah) and more on the way. Kids sleep off at 7.30 these days, so we chill out after that.
Enough of my yak, yak? I'll get on with the snaps.
The leashes are not visible in this snap, but we had two leashes for both the boys which joined their hands with mine! Thats what saved our sanity that day.
Finally, a family snap.
In front of their school .. the first day.
By the river cam, on a sunny day
Feeding the ducks n swans, we all love this! Last week we finished up two entire loafs of bread. You should see how fast the ducks can swim when they want to catch that bit!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
It sunned today!!!
Yippeeeee.....the sun showed itself today! After days of rain and snow, the sun came out bright and beautiful for the entire day..and could we sit at home??? No way...we lugged the kids and a picnic hamper along and left early in the morning (an hour after sunrise, at 10.00 am) for some exploring. Went to another part of the river stretch, the one next to Kings college and the museums and had a lovely time sunning ourselves and feeding the ducks n swans again! Kaustubh was in his element today, crying for cake the moment we started the walk. Had to struggle to get him to a bench and then cut the cakes we had taken along. A few pieces went to the ducks as well. Had lunch in an indian restaurant nearby, and was thrilled beyond words! The food was amazing. Pure Kerala cuisine at a very reasonable price, and was infact more tasty than some stuff I have tasted in Kerala. The proprietor was very sweet too. The kids got a complementary dosa which they promptly attacked and devoured in a minute. Went to a friends place from there and spent a very nice evening with their family. They have a baby near Krithika's age and the kids loved playing with all her toys, while karthik n I loved the conversation and the onion pakodas! A lovely sunday...hoping for more sunny ones like this!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I dreamt it
England is under the big freeze. I have always dreamt of sitting in a cozy room, with a cup of tea and a book, lying on the sofa and watching a heavy snowfall. Tell me, what do you really feel when your dreams are realised? Do you get lost in the feeling that this can't possibly be true, or that now my dream has been realised, shouldn't I be more happy or omigod, this moment is going to go by soon, let me try n capture it as much as possible (and then loose it in the process) or, does it become an anticlimax, that you had expected so much out of it that the reality failed to match up to your expectation? All these used to happen to me so often, that i dreaded my dreams coming true, i felt it much better to have beautiful dreams than seeing those wonderful dreams coming to dust by becoming reality.
Well, I had a wonderful opportunity to attend a four day course in the Sri Sri Ravishankar's ashram in bangalore and had the good fortune to meet him face to face. What a truly divine experience that was. On the second day of the course, our teacher asked a very relevant question. How long can you keep watching that amazinginly beautiful scenery? An hour or two? How long can you keep watching that snowfall you love? A few minutes? Ah..it was such a relief to see hear these words. Good to hear that this is a universal truth, and that, when you get something that you feel is wonderful and have been longing to have, experience, it is but natural for you to feel a surge of pleasure initially, but you just cannot hug and preserve that feeling forever. You might look back and remember the instantaneous joy that you experienced, but thats all it was. Instantaneous. And after that, you are back to being the person you were, in the same life that you have, with the same people, circumstances you were in!
But if you see yourself as happiness, and you are in joy throughout, then those dreams that you had, when it becomes a reality, just enhances your joy. You learn to accept everything beautiful and relish in your dreams because you know that your essential nature is of joy. All that fear of the dream not living up to your expectation and doubts of whether you are really enjoying yourself of not, is gone. You are enjoying yourself every minute of your day. Your dreams being true jut adds a drop to an already overfilled cup of joy.
Am I making any sense? Have I answered the question I had raised? No? Then please forgive me,I have not yet probably reached the state of zen!!!!, but at where I am now, I am living my dream, and I am truly happy with it!!!!!
Well, I had a wonderful opportunity to attend a four day course in the Sri Sri Ravishankar's ashram in bangalore and had the good fortune to meet him face to face. What a truly divine experience that was. On the second day of the course, our teacher asked a very relevant question. How long can you keep watching that amazinginly beautiful scenery? An hour or two? How long can you keep watching that snowfall you love? A few minutes? Ah..it was such a relief to see hear these words. Good to hear that this is a universal truth, and that, when you get something that you feel is wonderful and have been longing to have, experience, it is but natural for you to feel a surge of pleasure initially, but you just cannot hug and preserve that feeling forever. You might look back and remember the instantaneous joy that you experienced, but thats all it was. Instantaneous. And after that, you are back to being the person you were, in the same life that you have, with the same people, circumstances you were in!
But if you see yourself as happiness, and you are in joy throughout, then those dreams that you had, when it becomes a reality, just enhances your joy. You learn to accept everything beautiful and relish in your dreams because you know that your essential nature is of joy. All that fear of the dream not living up to your expectation and doubts of whether you are really enjoying yourself of not, is gone. You are enjoying yourself every minute of your day. Your dreams being true jut adds a drop to an already overfilled cup of joy.
Am I making any sense? Have I answered the question I had raised? No? Then please forgive me,I have not yet probably reached the state of zen!!!!, but at where I am now, I am living my dream, and I am truly happy with it!!!!!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Happy birthday, dear
Krithika...who calls herself thithika, who cries 'Ammeeenaaa in the morning, noon and night for me' who when feeling an excess of love grinds her teeth, pulls my eyebrows and yells, 'Achodaaaa'! Who imitates whatever her god like anna's (elder brothers) do and still find it in her to pull their hair and scratch them when irritated, who is the apple of her dad's eye, who looks her best in any dress or without! who does something naughty and then refuses to look into your eye for a while, who broke my cup yesterday and ran out of the kitchen and sat down meekly by my feet, who removes all her dresses in the blink of an eye and wanders around in her birthday suit, who falls asleep in a second when put in her car seat, who says hi and bye to everyone on the road, who cries only when hit by her brothers and sleepy, who is 2 years old, but still wakes up in the middle of the night to have her milk, who just needs her brothers around to be happy and constantly playing, who speaks almost as much as them, who sings and dances so adorably, who has brought the maximum smiles on our faces the past two years, who has given us the best years of our life,
darling Krithika, May you spread this happiness and joy all your long life through, may you be happy and contended all your life through, may your parents and brothers have the good fortune to see you grow as beautiful as you are now, and may god bless this wonderful creation of his.
darling Krithika, May you spread this happiness and joy all your long life through, may you be happy and contended all your life through, may your parents and brothers have the good fortune to see you grow as beautiful as you are now, and may god bless this wonderful creation of his.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
A week on..
and I am a lil bit tired of the beautiful Apartment we are in and long to move into the house we have rented!! It is beautiful alright, but, it somehow lacks the warmth of the English cottage I have been wanting to live in! Anyway, our furniture is due to arrive day after, and after that begins the huge task of setting up the house, a task I have always enjoyed. Every year after our marraige we have moved houses, and this time, it is a country as well, so, you could call us a sort of moving experts by now! We went to the other place, lets call it FC for now, to arrange all the grociries we had got from India, which was quite a lot, considering that five of us had 30Kg allowance each, most of which were filled with rava, semiya, rice and so on!!!! We have a rented car for the month, Ford Mondeo, and had an inital fight fitting in three car seats at the back. After some shop hopping, we finally settled for two slim car seats (more like booster seats) for Kachi n Kautu and a good car seat for baby! See, what all advantages are there in being the youngest!
I was a bit down the first two days, the climate is freezing and once hubby dear has gone to office, the kids and I are pretty much stuck at home. Now that a few days are gone by and I have managed to see quite a lot of cambridge and taken the kids to a beautiful park by the cam river, and have shopped half the hubby's salary out, I am back in spirits! But truly, nothing like nature and shopping to uplift you, is there?
Kids have adapted really really well. They love the river and go for long walks feeding the ducks and swans. They keep running all the time, so I guess the cold is not an issue at all. I am the only one still wandering around with a frozen face and hands. But over all, its a sea change from my mother land, and I have done fine so far. My brother and his wife are with us, so, probably that helped a lot, but all said and done, I do miss India a lot. I miss its temples, its people, my loved ones and the chatter. I miss the gang in Bangalore and I miss our weekely poker nights. I miss the restaurants and I miss the climate. I miss our unplanned weekend trips and I miss the A2Bs on route to Chennai. I miss...........
Well, I might get over this in a few days, for, the wanderlust in us will kick in and relieve any boredom, but till then, it is a pleasure to blog and crib about how much I miss India.
And it is a pain to think that you can't see the parents when you just feel like it! Other than these minor things (!!) I am enjoying this place quite a lot. Especially the amazing clothes and accessories, and the beautiful English countryside, and the lovely quaint cottages. It is as picturesque as it can get and especially when it snowed yesterday, ahhhh...I melted right out there in the car. Those lovely snowflakes on that beautiful road and river, stirred me as nothing much else has in the recent past. Wish I had a few pictures to share with you, let me take a look...
At Jesus Greens, the part with the river Cam for a boundary
Feels much like Venice, doesn't it? This is just a walk from Jesus Greens and the wooden pathway we are on is right above the river and really really slippery. Kachi fell down three times and I was almost on my butt too!
I was a bit down the first two days, the climate is freezing and once hubby dear has gone to office, the kids and I are pretty much stuck at home. Now that a few days are gone by and I have managed to see quite a lot of cambridge and taken the kids to a beautiful park by the cam river, and have shopped half the hubby's salary out, I am back in spirits! But truly, nothing like nature and shopping to uplift you, is there?
Kids have adapted really really well. They love the river and go for long walks feeding the ducks and swans. They keep running all the time, so I guess the cold is not an issue at all. I am the only one still wandering around with a frozen face and hands. But over all, its a sea change from my mother land, and I have done fine so far. My brother and his wife are with us, so, probably that helped a lot, but all said and done, I do miss India a lot. I miss its temples, its people, my loved ones and the chatter. I miss the gang in Bangalore and I miss our weekely poker nights. I miss the restaurants and I miss the climate. I miss our unplanned weekend trips and I miss the A2Bs on route to Chennai. I miss...........
Well, I might get over this in a few days, for, the wanderlust in us will kick in and relieve any boredom, but till then, it is a pleasure to blog and crib about how much I miss India.
And it is a pain to think that you can't see the parents when you just feel like it! Other than these minor things (!!) I am enjoying this place quite a lot. Especially the amazing clothes and accessories, and the beautiful English countryside, and the lovely quaint cottages. It is as picturesque as it can get and especially when it snowed yesterday, ahhhh...I melted right out there in the car. Those lovely snowflakes on that beautiful road and river, stirred me as nothing much else has in the recent past. Wish I had a few pictures to share with you, let me take a look...
At Jesus Greens, the part with the river Cam for a boundary
Feels much like Venice, doesn't it? This is just a walk from Jesus Greens and the wooden pathway we are on is right above the river and really really slippery. Kachi fell down three times and I was almost on my butt too!
Monday, December 28, 2009
we are off!!!!!!!!!
We reached Cambridge late yesterday night...still feeling like a Queen with the chauffer driven BMW that came to pick us up at the airport and the wonderful apartment we are in, courtesy of the company. It has a wide balcony with a beautiful view of the cambridge river and furnished very asthetically. Kachi and Kautu were so thrilled with their experience, that they slept together leaving karthik, me and baby the other bigger room. We are still exhausting the welcome pack that we still haven't wandered outside. When our shipment arrives, we will be moving into the house we have taken for rent, so, it is a case of enjoy the good thing while it lasts..I am too tired to even think about opening the door and looking outside, so, sleep, sleep and eat is going to be the manthra for the day!
On route in Dubai
Kids had a blast exploring the airport. Took us more than an hour to reach the departure terminal from the arrival one. I dragged my feet near the duty free shops and the kids dragged theirs all along.
On the flight. Emirates had a wonderful collection of movies, and the guys ended up watching ants and cars throughout. They slept for most of the journey and watched the movies for the rest, so, things were fine for us.
More pics n updates coming on...
On route in Dubai
Kids had a blast exploring the airport. Took us more than an hour to reach the departure terminal from the arrival one. I dragged my feet near the duty free shops and the kids dragged theirs all along.
On the flight. Emirates had a wonderful collection of movies, and the guys ended up watching ants and cars throughout. They slept for most of the journey and watched the movies for the rest, so, things were fine for us.
More pics n updates coming on...
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