This is why I love my blog

though I am quite irregular in writing and even more in checking out my favorite blogs. I just happened to read a post of mine written a few years ago, and there....I find a lot of my questions answered, a lot of doubts cleared and memory refreshed. I have just forgotten how Kachi n Kautu were when they were less than a year old. Yes. If not for my blog, I would not have even recollected a single character trait of theirs. Do all mothers forget their kids early stages, or is it because I had Krithika when these guys were just coming out of theirs and so, hers and their childhood have all merged into one? Don't know.

They seem to be frozen at 3 for me, but equally, krithika seems frozen at 1.5! Now I can't seem to remember her little traits, brought back to me when I found a long lost video (in fact the only one we have of her the first year!). She had a peculiar habit of hitting her mouth with her hand periodically, and it looked just damn cute. Will it all come back to me when I am 80 and dying, like in your life flashing by you moments before the final call? Then the wait is well worth it, such beautiful memories for me to recollect. Or, will it happen when they get married and go away, or when I see their kids? Maybe I should ask my parents, but I wonder if they have ever thought about it. Their generation, without generalising, have generally been concerned with making ends meet and providing sustenance rather than think deeply about stuff that we seem to have ample time to think about! Anyway, I have tried to follow "Think deeply, yet live lightly" principle and what better way to have an outlet than this blog!!!

cheers!!

So I ran to Chennai

to see my cousins, born to my mom's brother after 17 years of marriage and innumerable difficulties! Its not my story to tell, but its a difficult one with a twin happy ending! A boy and A girl. And I was in an elevated state for most of the afternoon after hearing the news. When I heard that my bro and his fiancé were driving to chennai, I just had to hitch a ride. So, Krithika and I left the boys here in bangalore and went to chennai. After an eventful ride, wherein we went half way up to salem and then took the rustic village road to join the highway 3 hours after we left it, we reached Chennai late saturday night. I went the next day to see the kids, spent a lot of time giving unwanted advise on bringing up twins and came back the next day by bus. Travelling with Kishu is a lot better than travelling alone! She provided ample entertainment for most of the co-travellers. First it was pulling the little hair left on bald head of the person in front. Then it was playing hide and seek with someone right at the back of the bus and then hiding away shyly when the guy next to me so much as smiled at her! The rest of the time, she slept peacefully, giving me my much wanted rest.
Now, what were the guys upto in my absence? Having a ball of a time here! The three of them were out the entire day...first they went to our old house, met up with all the neighbours, then went to their dad's friend's house for lunch and then spent four hours hanging at RMZ mall by the fountain. Leaving you with a few pics of the boys day out...maybe I should go away more often!!

Must do before you die

is a dharma darshanam at Thirupathi on a festival day. And we did that, last sunday! We were assured a ticket for a puja by an agent, who, after we reached Thirupathi said he couldn't manage one. Well, Karthik and I left my parents and kids in the room and went searching for some seva tickets. The thing there is, either you need a VIP pass for which you need to bribe a VIP or, all the members need to get their fingerprints done to get the tickets! So, we rushed back (by now it was 9.30 in the night) and got everyone to the booth to find that the tickets have all been sold. We took a call then and there and decided that Karthik and I would go for the Dharma Darshanam (free darshanam) and took all the money that various people had entrusted us to put into the Hundi. The Q had no beginning in sight. We walked for almost a half hour and then someone thrust us inside the Q. The time was 10.30 PM. We walked and stood alternatively for another 2 hours. Then we were all hearded into a cell and locked up! Really! There were some 400 odd people in the cell which was shaped loosely like an amphitheatre. Luckily we had taken a bed sheet which we spread and used the money bags as pillows and slept. Till 3.30 AM. Which was when an old lady with rings all over her ears and nose decided that she wanted to lie down in the minute space between the wall and my leg and started pushing my legs about. I got up in a dash, and with neither of us understanding each other, we managed to work out a solution. I huddled away to sleep another few hours and was woken up by a huge cry and rush in the cell. Breakfast had arrived! Karthik managed to snatch a plate of Upma while I decided to fast till darshan. Another two hours of sleep passed by. By 11.00 AM on sunday, we were wide awake and wondering when they were going to open the gates when someone opened up the entry gate and two people came inside. Looks like they managed to bribe a gaurd and get inside. We might be let out soon! Both of us rushed to the exit gate, reserving our positions and getting ready for the run. In a while, someone came rattling the keys and started opening one cell after the other! And we dashed. Hand in hand through all the people for 10 mintutes. By when my knee was beginning to ache a little bit. We finally reached a point where all the seva ticket holders merge and from then on, all we need to do was stand. The crowd just carries you forward. Almost 14 hours after the start of our wait, we got an amazing darshanam, made much more sweeter by the ardent wait and longing.
Govinda.....Goooovinda!!!!

Just here just now

With their LEGO set scattered between them, all three of my kids are sitting in the balcony. As I sit typing away before them, the thought that pervades all through me is that, there is nothing I would be doing other than exactly this at this point in time. It is such a pole apart from where I was a year back. The rush home every two hours to feed Krithika, the minutes I grab to just be with the kids, seeing them play in between the cooking and feeding and the constant rush of thoughts about work. It would be a rare day that I would get to sit like this and just relax with no thought other than what I am typing away. This is not to say that I don't want to get back to work! I do. But if I do, it will have to be either part time, during the morning when the boys will be in school and when I can permit myself to leave baby in a day care, or, a flexiblilty of work from home when I can be at home during the afternoons. It is just not possible otherwise! After having had the luxury of being with them throught the day, leaving them to someone who will not enjoy them, and sees them with the same eyes they see other kids is just not possible!!! I can't describe the pure joy I feel when I lie down with them for their afternoon nap. Both Kachi and Kautu have to hug me to sleep and I lie straight down, like a log so that they both can take their share! Today was special, coz baby too wanted to sleep with her bros. I usually put her to sleep either before or after they have slept. Today, Kachi wanted her to sleep with him, so I put her in between me and him. To my surprise, he started singing the lullaby I usually sing for her, and slowly, her eyes drooped and she slept! He got up to see if she has slept and then turned around and went to sleep! Wish I had a cam to capture these moments! I was touching all three of them till I too dropped of to sleep and what more do you need to make your day?
Well, Krithika has just gone to put her hands on to the mud (she is fond of eating it, and such other dirty things!), so let me bid you good bye!

Summer camp before school!!

The boys are almost 3 and we thought we would enroll them in a summer camp to pass the time till they join school. The school we finalised is a very small one, a montessori run by a lady who reminded me so much of my mom, the same dedication and energy that the moment I talked to her, I decided to put the kids there.

The 'white vandi' (a white omni) comes daily at 9.20 and they are off..just like that! The first day, I was wandering around the house, wondering at the silence and the time, I didn't know what to do with! I was counting the minutes till 1.30 when they would be home. Baby and I would wait down and greet them. There's something very brave in you when you first entrust your kids to an absolute stranger and pray that they take them to their destination safely. It was that first letting go that was difficult, days after that were easy. I think I just got a preview of what it would be like when they leave home for college and more so when they get married! I wouldn't want to be like the clinging parent, trying to force myself on my kids life!

We then came to the next milestone, their talent show! They were to dress up as animals and I lacked the energy to make up something, so we drove half the way across the city to rent them a costume. Kachi was pig and Kautu lion. The D day arrived and they went happily to their teachers when we dropped them at the venue, which was a restaurant inside Country Club, ORR. We returned half an hour later to find them decked up really sweet, with lip stick and roughe and whiskers. True to ourselves, we misplaced our camera, so had to borrow another parents and take snaps of our kids on stage, doing absolutely nothing! I was waiting for the parent to send us the snaps before writing this post, but, as that hasn't happened as yet, couldn't wait any longer! Well, to give them credit, they didn't cry and run to us, nor did they remain absoulte statues, they did jump, and roar and kachi the pig, shouted Oink..Oink. And we were so excited! The principal even called all the mothers on stage and made the kids give us a mothers day card, with their pictures taken in school on it. She did go through a lot of effort for the summer camp, and her whole family were backstage helping her with it, which made me think of my mom so much!

Theres another two weeks left for the camp, I certainly am going to miss it once its over!!!

Feeling good

Feeling really good after changing the look of the blog. Wanted to do it ages back, but was always either too busy or absolutlely jobless, but without a comp! Got a new laptop after ages of nagging and wow...feels like I gained an extra limb!

Now for a few updates...
Kachi and Kautu have been going to a summer camp. Now I know the difference between sending your kids to school when they are two years old and when they are three. They cried and cried and looked so lost the last time round and finally we pulled them out of school after a month cause they fell sick so often, and now, they wave a biiig bye and get into their school van and speed of to school. They come back at 1, all ready to eat a marraige meal and fall asleep almost instantaneously, which is all making me feel superflous. Baby is missing her brothers a lot and keeps asking for them! The kid who doesn't give me a trouble when everyone is at home, is forever on my lap once the brothers have gone to school!!! Huh...shall I send her off to a day care and get back to work??? Though she is the greatest fun to be with, I have a feeling she's going to enjoy herself where there are a lot of other kids to keep her entertained!! What say? Maybe its all just wishful thinking, when it finally comes to taking the final step to put them in day care, I will cry off. But then, the restlessness has started to come back...I am missing my job and all the challenges that come with it. What about part time, lets say from 9-1?? If anyone offers that on a platter, I will eat it up...but till then, let me keep dreaming! But like what Karthik keeps telling me, the first three years of the kids life is never going to come back, so sit back and enjoy, but again, like how I keep telling, I am doing just that, but at a few times like these, they just seem not enough!

We have been doing a few trips lately..been to Yercaud last month, and to the mysore zoo last election day..had a blast at the zoo, the kids still ask me tell zoo stories every time I put them to sleep!!
Leaving you with a few snaps...

We just managed to keep them off the water..surprisingly, Kachi n kautu were extremely well behaved, Krithika wanted to try her hand swimming...

In chennai, Kachi is being the obliging elder bro, taking baby for a ride..

Caught snapping in BITS

Utop Pahadi .. the Hanuman temple...the real reason for us being back in BITS. I wanted to be back here after I married, and finally made it after three kids!

Need I say anything?? I have always felt the clock tower lawns to be the most beautiful place in the campus...


Sky...been there with loads of dear people and now back with the dearest of all!!