A diary entry..of doubts and fears

When I hear of how children are like clay and we, the parents are the hands that mould them, it fills me up with a lot of fear and misgivings. What if I have moulded them wrong? What if the way I am raising them, as against the wishes of their grandparents (who forever want the kids to be raised the way we were, the traditional Indian way of running behind them with food, letting them watch TV to their hearts content, sleeping with them both during day and night and feeding them milk as many times as they want in the night) turns out to be wrong?
Both my husband and I have wanted the kids to be independent. We love it when they eat on their own, when they take their bottle of milk and sleep without being sung lullabies for an hour. We feel great when we take them to a restaurant and they sit with us and eat without attempting to get on the table and sweep everything to the ground. But the grandparents differ. In fact, my mother feels that the emotional bonding between me and the kids will be less because I don't sleep with them in the night! What?!! Here I am, working from home, managing to spend most of their waking hours with them, when, my parents left me with my grandparents from when I was 3 months old to go to work. So, where is the justice in her statement? On reflection, I told her that because she didn't get the mornings with us, she was making up for it by having us sleep with her and dad till we were atleast 5-6 years old. Here, my kids are pretty stable and contended and I have no issues in them sleeping alone, as, when they wake up, be it morning or night, I am there right at home for them. And about running behind the kids to feed them. I have pointed out time and again that she had only one infant/toddler at a time to handle. I have two toddlers and an infant to handle simultaneously. So, the only way I can do justice to all of them is by making them independent enough to eat on their own and not waste everyone's time by taking an hours running around to feed. We use the saved up time effectively by indulging in rhymes and games. Isn't that the way to go? Justify as much as I can, it still doesn't erase the sprinkling of doubt that...could they be right? Will my children feel less attached to me and their dad because of this? I don't think so, but......