routine chaos

Have you read this post about setting a routine for babies? I have always wanted to set a routine for my kids. But they have always wanted to set a different routine each day. And if it continues for a day longer, I call up dad in office and tell him...'hmm..see, I've developed this new routine for them. Now, kau and kash sleep after breakfast for an hour, wake up to eat their carrot and play till 4, I give them a good nice bath and they sleep till 6, play till 8 and sleep after dinner. So you don't have to worry..I've got it all sorted out'. He says 'hmm..great. So you finally have figured it out'. And the bubble bursts the next day. They refuse to sleep after breakfast, play till their eyes turn red with sleep (it does remind one of a tom and jerry episode where tom keeps his eyes open with a toothpick to stay awake) and sleep at 6 to wake up at 8 and stay awake till midnight.

Now, how do you justify this? I am the same, the food I give them is more or less the same, but still they manage not to have a routine. Yes, the blog I mentioned talks of how children may be better of as adults if they do not have a routine, if they grow up to become a different from others personality. But, is it really worth while me not setting a routine for my self just because they don't have one? I like to wake up late, say 7 or later, sit with a cup of tea for a while, put on the FM and start the kitchen work. And then, I like setting a time for me to do office work, rather than when kau and kash decide to sleep and I would definitely feel immensely happy with myself if I could feed these guys on time. But am I being selfish in this desire? Are all kids routineless or is it just mine? Should I have done something or can I do something to bring some order into our lives?

As the writer mentions, there is just a thin line between good routine and an obsessive one. I think I become obsessive at times, I feel down when they are not hungry way past their lunch time. I blame my self if they haven't had enough milk during the day, though they might have said a firm no every time I pushed the bottle inside. But I have also realised something...that they eat best when they ask for it, they drink best when they are thirsty and sleep best when they fall asleep on my lap after playing four hours at a stretch. It took me this long to come to this, mainly because, Kau and Kash were premature and needed all the forceful feeding the first three months of their tiny life to fill out into who you see now, so I still haven't prepared myself to let go and let the tiny ones dictate what they want. As we know our body best, they must also be knowing theirs, we only have to be astute enough to understand what they are conveying, instead of pushing our routine into them. I am trying to go by that, I am trying to let go ...

Today their dad came back early and we took them by the swimming pool and the park..I let them play in the sand..didn't object when they threw it at each other, but definitely intervened when they decided to put it in the mouth. They came back all excited, had dinner and promptly slept without having taken a bath the whole day. 'Thats what they wanted' I told my self, but somehow, theres a niggling feeling that I have just found a way to justify neglect on my part!